christmas time

We are home together enjoying Christmas- and all the days leading up to back to school in Jan. and the end of the season.

I don't think anyone else is still bothering with this blog- including me. So some good news is that I am working on a new look, and some new updated blog posts AND a new online card shop in the early new year. I can't wait.

xoxo

today

i am so happy autumn has arrived. it is my absolute FAVORITE time of year. i say this every year...really i walk around announcing it to my family at all possible moments. i just LOVE it. perhaps it's because it means summer has ended. and even though we had a very good enjoyable summer, i love when it ends. i am completely crazy with my time. i cannot keep track of anything and so when summer arrives my household gets very chaotic. busy, even fun at times, but def. CRAZY><
so with fall, the kids are back to school, the weather is perfect for just everything. ya know, cause i am such an outdoorsy kind of girl. no- i am not. but i do enjoy the cooler yet still warmish weather. the colors are what sets everything up for me. the leaves are to die for. reds. yellows, oranges, burgundy even. the mosquitoes are sorta disappearing. the skies are so blue and fresh. i don't know i just have a bounce in my step in the fall.
my livingroom is even decorated in those colors cause they just make me feel happy and comfortable.
i am so babbling about this.
i am currently having coffee so i can get my kids to the library and mma without passing out. somebody...i won't call names, was snoring so loud i ended up sleeping on the couch...with henry the staffy. and it was good times let me tell you. my neck and back have been reminding me of it all day. :)
i feel good about my accomplishments today. i made dinner at 3:45pm and got izzy a stack of halloween costumes to choose from. (will be returning what she doesn't like).
the best part i called my friend who i have been forgetting to call and even though she was probably working, i called and it has been something ive been wanting to do for days.
i also did 2 loads of laundry...though it still sits to be folded and put away.
i will be back as soon as i can with some recent updated pics of things around here.

back to school and a few cards...finally

the kids went back to school this week. i went back to creating, cleaning...and a little more calm. :)

we had a long good summer. busy, but good busy. i am glad its back to school. i've always loved the routine that school gives our days in the fall, it is usually very needed after the chaos of summer days. so far- we have all been able to get up and out the door without any problems. so happy about that. :)

i really hope my kids have a good school year. Logan is in 5th grade and the girls are in 7th & 8th. our last year with an elementary schl kid. next year i will have 2 middle schoolers and a highschooler. jeez. it amazes me that my children get older each year. there are moments when i look at them, and instead of seeing these tweens, and teen...i am seeing their baby or toddler faces....and so i just can't understand how that sweet baby could be gone to yearbook camp, or playing guitar, or wrestling some kid at mma...

i am so happy that i still get to stay at home with them and cherish all these moments. we have more than enough drama, but i feel so blessed to be a part of the routine of their every day lives.

i took a pic of each of them as they slipped out the door on their first day back to school...happy shiny faces all around.

and here are a few cards i have worked on recently. and more to come. i have promised myself at least an hour of creating time each day once i get my cleaning done. so far i've kept up with both-- i love when that happens. :)

xoxo

sweet kids

my three sweeties just came back from a week long overnight camp trip for military kids. totally fun and exciting. all three said, it was the BEST week of their life. :)

i am so happy they got to experience such adventures.

they are still thinking of things to talk about. and even calling and texting (and visiting) friends they made up there from other states. just so so cool.

north bay summer camp is an amazing place with really cool counselors and staff. i thank them again here for doing such a great job caring for & exploring the outdoors with my children. and for making a whole group of military kids feel beyond special. i can't wait to develop their disposable cameras to see their time through their perspective.

happy anniversary to my handsome

* alex always gives silly faces in pictures- esp. with me in it, cause thats just the way he rolls. this is his trying to look girlie and sweet face. :)

today we celebrate so many many years of love and craziness. i wouldn't want it any other way. he can piss me off to the point of rage, and melt my heart with just a look. he never remembers to buy gifts on special days, but he will show up with a lil chocolate somehow knowing just when i need it. he calls me silly names like tiny, and shanicqua, and b-nasty (that on is the silliest cause it just doesn't apply- which is why he loves it and even sent me a shirt from iraq that said b nasty on the front & team williams on the back).

he does things like making that shirt for me...little ways to show me he loves me. he never cleans ANYTHING. i mean anything -in the house. ever. dishes? no. bathrooms? no, ever nothing. BUT he does do ALL the yardwork outside if he is home and that is an even exchange (mostly) for the outside, cause i really hate yard work. he comes to my rescue after i call him crying when i find that one of the dogs has killed an animal... like when he came home from a 4 day survival army thing in the middle of who knows where- sleep deprived and had to dispose of the mother possum and her opened belly containing lil babies that crawled up to our front tree and died...

he always takes my side with kid issues ( i wish i did this better myself). i always learn something new from him- like last night he told me he really hates the word lap. hmm...i never knew that about him. :)

i love that he is 6'4 255 (plus on occasion) and i will ALWAYS look smaller next to him regardless of how much weight ive gained. :) he is the best guy i know even with a bit of a temper. gosh i could go on and on really.

he is so good at his army job-and he loves what he does. i am proud of him and he is proud of himself. it is an honor to be married to a such a good soldier. i love how everyone flocks to him. he makes friends so easily. guys just want to hang out with him, its funny cause i am such the opposite. he is the social butterfly and i am so shy and awkward. i good pair i guess. i love that he sings when he is home. he cant sing worth a darn, but i love hearing him. i usually tell him to stop, but he doesn't. and i don't really want him to. when he is gone, i miss hearing him the most. i love that he tries to push me to be better. he always has dreams and goals and he wants the same for me. i love how he takes the kids biking or the the gym with him on the weekends, giving them time together and me some solo time. i love that he is so happy watching ufc all the time and can share the mma stuff with logan. he is literally fearless and it amazes me constantly. i love how he teaches the girls to be strong and not afraid of anything. i love how he walks into the kitchen and puts me in some sort of arm bar or hold. i love how he talks boy stuff with logan so easily-cause im just so girlie for all that. i love how he makes fun of the things i love- cause its his way of showing me he knows what i love- and loves me back. i love most that he believes in me to care for everything, the house, the kids, the bills and know i can handle it all so he can focus on his stuff. and i love how when i cant handle it all he comes in just when i need him. i love that we can sit and laugh together at all the crazy silly things we experience as a family. cause we have so many stories. things just happen to us, chaos follows us all the time and its good we can laugh about it. :) so much to say about loving him.

its funny that i met him at 18 and i just turned 36 a few days ago...we've been together so long. and it makes me so happy to say that.

so happy love day to us.

time

time seems to have a way of getting away from me. hours turn into days that turn into weeks and next thing i know, i have stumbled into the end or middle of a new month without knowing what the heck i have been doing with my time.

i have SO MUCH i want to do, and then the list of what i actually do is rather small in comparison. my blog being one. its so lame and boring. i wouldn't even want to come back here and read it. i leave it on with the hopes that i will get my butt in gear and surprise myself...posting funny things my children do and say....sharing the cards i make...all of that would require me to organize my time better, set things up to make it all possible.

i don't know at this point if i am capable of such really. i am just so not...balanced right now. i feel like i am all over the place-getting a little of this and that worked on, but never getting to it all fully. pretty annoying.

i turn 35 next week. oops 36--see...i can't even remember how old i am. perhaps it will all come with age. so far, all i see is that with age, i become a crazier version of my once cute and together self. :) i hope to be back here soon, with something fun and interesting, otherwise i guess i'll just delete this silly thing and move on.

my kids have 3 days of school left and i think i quit 2 weeks ago...i can barely get them out the door. heck i can barely wake up to get them up.....

my baby is ten today

oh goodness.
how is that my youngest baby is ten today? well, after about 1:30pm officially...happy birthday Logan Alexander.
he is growing huge and learning insane amounts of stuff and is a very good hearted boy. however, we have had a rough year with Logan. growing into himself, adjusting to life with his dad in and out- emotional scars left from missing his dad during deployments and daily life. i won't lie, it has been very hard. he has grown far away from the baby/toddler we all nicknamed loverbaby. he is still that same sweet boy in his heart and there are still times when it shines through. bu he is often frustrated, angry with his lack of independence, at odds with his dad, struggling to find a place where he fits in with his sisters. whining at me to either do stuff for him, or upset when asked to do things on his own. an increase in temper tantrums. :( yes, some struggle grwoing into tweendom for this boy.
but at the same time...he is so smart and genuine when he expresses love or concern. he funny in a very smart way. he makes me smile when he shares these random tidbits of information his brain is consuming daily. he has things to tell me all day, so much info, so many questions as he discovers the world around him. he has found a circle of friends that he fits well with, he is growing by leaps and bounds in many ways. his body is just out of control like a puppy when they get in that awkward stage of huge paws and being clumsy... and no coordination. he is a 10 year old boy in a teenagers body with man size feet and hands. :) my sweet boy. he is so special to me. i have to constantly nag at him to do every single thing, cause he is very distracted and doesn't focus well. i know a bit of how that can be. i cannot imagine my life without him, whining and all. he is the first one at my side if i am feeling down, he always wants to share things with his sisters, even if they all fight with one another. he cannot go to bed at night unless i tuck him in...often several times. Logan loves his doggies with all his heart. he reads national geographic magazine, watches the discovery channel and bizzare foods with his dad, will eat just about anything, and a lot of it. he loves legos and once he builds something he takes care not to let anyone touch it. at. all. he will practice lacrosse passes to help camille whenever she asks. he plays and fights with isabelle like an old married couple. he will take her bossing him around for a few hours and then he he has it out with her- which usually results to crying to me. he stays up every night reading the Percy Jackson books, even though he has read them all a few times. even though i tell him its past bedtime. he loves the Greek mythology stuff so much. this years obsession.
so much to love about my baby boy. he has touched my life in ways i can barely put into words. and he will hold my heart forever. i am so lucky that God gave him to me to love and care for, to be my son and i his mama.
xoxo

thanks kristy z.

* a post for my friends kristy.
thank you for your kind words. i thought long and hard and in my heart i am just not ready to leave my babies, even if they are 9,11, & 13. if i don't feel good in my heart about it, it will never turn out right. i am in the process of figuring out a part time thing during school hours only and summers free, and I chatted with a lady today who might be able to make that possible. im not looking for a career either, just something to help fill my days while everyone is away. its been too many years with them all in school and quite frankly its pretty boring with just me all day. :)
thanks kristy- your a good friend. and i needed your caring words. hugs.

am i ready?

(picture of my 3 racing towards the bay)

how do i know if i am ready to be a working mother? are my children ready? is our lifestyle ready? this is what is consuming my brain each day. stressing me out. is this good stress, or bad stress. is it just the jitters of something new? or is it a sign to beware??

i consider myself a good mother. i care deeply for my three, i sacrifice for them, i love them, nurture them, try to teach them, lessen life's struggles for them when i can. encourage them, kiss their boo boos. listen to their stories, cheer them on, tuck them in each and every night, have faith in their amazing abilities, cry inside and often real tears when they are hurting and occasionally freak out at them when they have pushed me over the edge. I have lived already 14 years of my life to the keeping and care and utter devotion of these three wonderful people.

it would benefit us all greatly if i had a job, and an opportunity may be coming up--but so is summer--the carefree days of summer where they need my guidance and love and hovering even more....

what's a mother to do?

penny pinch a little longer...make and sell as many cards as her little chubby fingers can create??? with a military husband gone a lot, we already sacrifice one parents time so much. i don't know if we are ready.

any advise for this struggling mama? anybody?

time goes by...

i know it's already march. almost the end of march. and too much to catch up on. i have been in the process of working on a new website. something more creative oriented. a place that i can post my cards and share all my tinkering. i create all the time. i am too busy being a mom to keep up with family stuff on here. by the time i remember to post my kids are 3 years older.
so i figure if i want to stay in blogland. it will have to be as a way to share my creative stuff. that i can keep up on better i think. and its something i have been wanting to do for a long time.
sometime in april i will be switching gears and my blog will be more crafty good stuff. and maybe a few family pics & notes thrown in. :)
be back soon.
i hope.
xoxo

the blizzard of 2010

oh goodness---we are getting some SNOW up over here. these pictures are from this morning...but keep in mind we had another foot plus load us down since

its just been coming and coming since early yesterday. everything in the city is closed. we are snowed in....and super tired of changing wet snowy clothes...don't have enough gloves and hats etc. my lame face in the photo is cause i am super sick of being cold...and wiping snow off the floor. :(

luckily we still have power. THANK YOU LORD. and camille is keeping us warm with all her baking skills.

its been fun and lovely to have all this beautiful white snow cover up every possible square inch of our lives, but we are all ready for this to end now. thank you very much.

mom award

i have officially won the best loser mom award.

ya wanna know why? i'll tell you. i've been having issues with a certain teenager in my home and now i have evidence to confirm my suspicions.

the said teenager has had her cell phone taken away off and on for weeks. i have been nagged, ridiculed, cried at, and been told straight out -i am the strictest--evilest mom there ever was. how could i be so cruel?? all because i knew the accused teenager was dropping out of her regular life for a life of phone crime...losing all interest in daily pastimes, family adventures--even conversations--in an effort to spend every possible second texting on her phone. i knew in my heart it was getting out of hand, but i trusted her to put it away and make good choices. and that is where i made my fatal mistake. but since she is a teenager and i am allowing her that space--cause i want cool mom points and i wanna respect her space too...well i just never thought. i just never thought my straight a student who hates breaking rules with a passion...well i never thought she'd break a rule- esp. my rule. i have so much to learn as a momma. :) we've been going through this for weeks...the air thick...and me wondering if i'm being unfair or lame. questioning myself. wanting to be the best mom.

fast forward to today...when it comes to my attention my once sweet perfect rule abiding teenager, now sassy and breaker of my mom laws--has sent 14,999 texts in a 30 day period. and that is WITH the phone taken away for several hours after school and at bedtime. so this means she does nothing else but text on her phone. NOTHING ELSE. and i am the loser who is allowing this possibility.

i must admit that i am rather proud that my girl can actually type that fast and that much. i mean, come on, one text shy of 15000...in one billing cycle...that's gotta be a record or something. :) i will silently give her props right here for that achievement. however...

the truth remains i am deeply saddened by what it really means. i shouldn't have questioned myself, i should have stuck to my guns and kept the phone if i just wasn't sure. she has abused the privileges i have given, she has lost all interest in every aspect of her life that doesn't involve her phone and "friends". i have no problem with her having friends--of course what she is asking to do with her friends is causing all sorts of other problems for us. she wants to go off and hang at malls, hang at parties with boys, she wants all sorts of things that i don't allow. she basically wants me to let her do what she wants and have no boundaries.

are all teenagers like this? this all feels so hard and stressful and is pushing me to my limits.

where is my lil girl who use to craft with me? where is the girl who chit-chatted my ear off after school? shes still in there--shes just figuring out what she can and cant do. i know. the days when i take the phone away--she finds her way back. she hangs out upstairs, she helps me with cooking, she will even TALK to me a little here and there. so you can see why i have such hard feelings for the cell phone now. i feel like i've let it take my baby girl somewhere i just don't like. and now i need to wear my mom award on my sleeve and don't give in at all.

i want her to have friends. i want her to communicate with them. but this is just stupid--for lack of a better word. and so i am now in possession of 2 phones until further notice.

i wonder how other parents figure out the whole cell phone thing. when she first got it at the start of 6th grade it was so so cool, it gave her an IN when she moved to a new town. and now...well now i feel like i want to smash that phone on the ground and beat the shit out of it- (sorry). its really caused me so much anguish--i rather hate that little white phone.

any suggestions? any help/advice? cause i could sure use it.

xoxo

a little bug

* i absolutely could NOT rotate my picture. i did it in Picasa and saved it like 10 times and it still goes back to this sideways shot. oh well. :)

today i got the kids back to school from a 4 day weekend...and literally the minute the bus drove away i felt my insides turn over. i have some kind of a bug doing crazy dances in my stomach. i can hardly stand up it hurts so bad. so i gathered some supplies to set me up on the couch with.

book? check. tums? check. toast? check. twilight movie on the tv? check. crochet hook and yarn??? check.

do i know how to crochet? uncheck. uh, no. i was hoping that i could somehow teach myself. no book on that either. maybe i can find something online in between belly aches. i've been seeing these granny squares blankies around blog town and i want to join in. me and my cold feet just might need one of those -and made by me, even better.

this is one of new years changes. to DO some of the things i have been wanting to do for so long. i always wish i did this or that. but i am pathetic and give up before i even try. well, not this time. yes, crocheting is on my list of little wishes for myself. why not? if it adds joy to my life, a little happiness. i'm a crafty girl...

i'll be on the couch until this little upset tummy goes away. which is too bad really cause i had a long list of things to get to work on today after the kids skadaddled. too bad i can't plan my sickies for those days when i have nothing to do, that would work so much better.

xoxo

henry, get off the couch--no wait, stay!

henry? what do you see each day as you sit on the top of the couch?

usually he is sitting the other way, with his little butt on the couch, his body on the window shelf area and his face leaving slobbery puppy drool on the glass. he watches the wind blow, the snow fall, the rabbits and squirrels and kitties walk by-taunting him. neighbors coming and going, kids playing...he takes it all in. he is the best window watcher. i am so lucky he found this spot. at first i wanted him off the couch and out of the window. now i cannot think of a better thing. it is my peace. when he is sitting up there, he is not bugging me, he is not fighting or playing with buster and i have some good solid time to get things done without a little henry dog at my feet. :) in this photo, he feel asleep with the sunshine on his back and his face tucked into the couch. as tough as he looks and acts, this staffy puppy is turning out to be kinda sweet. see i toldja i was falling for him.

now if i could just get him to stop wanting to eat anyone under the age of 6, we'd be in good shape.

xoxo

today...

was back to routine day.

it did not go well.

camille forgot her lunch. got her phone taken away. izzy and logi got into a brawl before and after school.

these three are not sitting happily on the couch like here opening advent gifts...

they did finally return to school, after 18 days of winter break. the house was quiet and calm with just the doggies and me.

that is until the sweet darlings returned from school. and all hell broke lose. seriously. each is now in their room, banished from cell phones, and tvs and even homework. they are writing sentences...something like..."i will not cause chaos and havoc before or after school".

there are moments like this when it is so hard to be a mom. i don't know if writing 200 --(yes 200 for today) sentences will really teach them to stop doing the bad behaviors, but once the crying is over and they actually start writing, it gives me a little bit of time to talk myself out of the freak out i am about to have. :)

i wonder what other parents do when things escalate between siblings?? alex makes them do yard work...which is usually where they share their screaming matches with all the neighbors. i like the sentences. it gives me a bit of peace, and my children have the best handwriting. and then we discuss the issues at hand.

well its dinner time. i'll do that and see if things perk up.

xoxo

shopping

today i took the girls to the mall to spend their money; and to target to use their gift cards from their meema.

and afterwards, i have decided that i will only go shopping with kids if i can take one at a time. it all went ok, but it was too long and hard to enjoy and...the thing is, i love shopping. i don't want my shopping experiences to feel crazy or overwhelming. and the girls like different stores. an hour into hollister, izzy was in tears....then camille would not step a foot into the toy isle of target. yes, it'll just have to be one at a time, i felt exhausted.
they each came home with lots of lovely goodies (new socks, jeans, lipgloss, lotions, petshops (izzy) tshirts, ds games, magazines, and itunes cards) and are now in their rooms enjoying themselves. :) camille mentioned that she could shop all day....yeah, me too sweetie, me too!!

ps. we also took down our christmas trees. i felt a little sad, but henry kept eating the ornaments off and it was making us all crazy chasing after him. you can only do that for so many weeks, and then enough is enough.
tonight i'm looking forward to reading a new sewing book i got. our bookstore is closing and everything is just a few dollars, so i used my gift card and got Amy Karol's Bend the Rules with fabric. i already have her bend the rules sewing. its a great crafty sewing book, if you're in search of one.
oh, i'm also reading the sequel to the book chocolat. i got it a few months ago at a thrift shop for 50 cents. i forget the name....but its really good. i read the first one back in college. it makes me want to rent the movie and snack on some goodies....

anyone figure out their goals & resolutions for this year yet??
mine are still simmering. but i'll tell of one: to get my etsy shop opened. ive been a member since 2007...and that's just plain sad...my poor shop has been waiting...empty for me. it is time. :)
i wanna add lose my ten pounds, but i am just going to let that happen as it may. i'm tired of stressing about it, cause the added stress is making me bald. nice, huh? i can't just be ten pounds overweight, i have to throw in a few less hairs. its almost gross getting older...sorry.

xoxo