i have officially won the best loser mom award.
ya wanna know why? i'll tell you. i've been having issues with a certain teenager in my home and now i have evidence to confirm my suspicions.
the said teenager has had her cell phone taken away off and on for weeks. i have been nagged, ridiculed, cried at, and been told straight out -i am the strictest--evilest mom there ever was. how could i be so cruel?? all because i knew the accused teenager was dropping out of her regular life for a life of phone crime...losing all interest in daily pastimes, family adventures--even conversations--in an effort to spend every possible second texting on her phone. i knew in my heart it was getting out of hand, but i trusted her to put it away and make good choices. and that is where i made my fatal mistake. but since she is a teenager and i am allowing her that space--cause i want cool mom points and i wanna respect her space too...well i just never thought. i just never thought my straight a student who hates breaking rules with a passion...well i never thought she'd break a rule- esp. my rule. i have so much to learn as a momma. :) we've been going through this for weeks...the air thick...and me wondering if i'm being unfair or lame. questioning myself. wanting to be the best mom.
fast forward to today...when it comes to my attention my once sweet perfect rule abiding teenager, now sassy and breaker of my mom laws--has sent 14,999 texts in a 30 day period. and that is WITH the phone taken away for several hours after school and at bedtime. so this means she does nothing else but text on her phone. NOTHING ELSE. and i am the loser who is allowing this possibility.
i must admit that i am rather proud that my girl can actually type that fast and that much. i mean, come on, one text shy of 15000...in one billing cycle...that's gotta be a record or something. :) i will silently give her props right here for that achievement. however...
the truth remains i am deeply saddened by what it really means. i shouldn't have questioned myself, i should have stuck to my guns and kept the phone if i just wasn't sure. she has abused the privileges i have given, she has lost all interest in every aspect of her life that doesn't involve her phone and "friends". i have no problem with her having friends--of course what she is asking to do with her friends is causing all sorts of other problems for us. she wants to go off and hang at malls, hang at parties with boys, she wants all sorts of things that i don't allow. she basically wants me to let her do what she wants and have no boundaries.
are all teenagers like this? this all feels so hard and stressful and is pushing me to my limits.
where is my lil girl who use to craft with me? where is the girl who chit-chatted my ear off after school? shes still in there--shes just figuring out what she can and cant do. i know. the days when i take the phone away--she finds her way back. she hangs out upstairs, she helps me with cooking, she will even TALK to me a little here and there. so you can see why i have such hard feelings for the cell phone now. i feel like i've let it take my baby girl somewhere i just don't like. and now i need to wear my mom award on my sleeve and don't give in at all.
i want her to have friends. i want her to communicate with them. but this is just stupid--for lack of a better word. and so i am now in possession of 2 phones until further notice.
i wonder how other parents figure out the whole cell phone thing. when she first got it at the start of 6th grade it was so so cool, it gave her an IN when she moved to a new town. and now...well now i feel like i want to smash that phone on the ground and beat the shit out of it- (sorry). its really caused me so much anguish--i rather hate that little white phone.
any suggestions? any help/advice? cause i could sure use it.
xoxo
