today

good grief...the days are flying by (hence the photo- i think ive posted it before but it was just too perfect for how im feeling) and i swear i am not getting anything done. i'm just not. i guess thats ok. there is really nothing on the schedule until school starts anyway.

i do have news. today is a big day for us. today we drive down to DC to pick up little byran. it has taken me years of asking and waiting, but he is finally going to come visit us for 2 weeks. he just wasn't ready to venture out alone on an airplane...but now at 15, he finally is. i think it helped that we stopped in indiana and saw him on our drive east. he could see for himself that we're not crazy...well, at least not THAT crazy.

i am so happy and excited for him to be here with us. I'm not sure that i am all that exciting for a 15 yr old, especially with alex going back to WA in a few days. but we'll make do. we have a pool and it looks like all the cute teen girls in the neighborhood like to hang there a bit each day...im sure that's enough excitement in itself for one boy. :) alex got the xbox 360 live stuff going, and the computers and tvs in the basement/fun room...so i think he'll feel fine here. and i know if we venture out it'll be nothing if not exciting getting lost in this city. i can almost guarantee that i will be lost A LOT here. its kinda a given. i do have a notebook in the truck and i am writing down directions each time we go somewhere or get lost...and how we got back. and if all else fails, i can get us to the post and target and a hugeass mall...so really, what else do i need until september when a-dog returns right?

moving in is coming along. slow. i have the living room pretty much set up. we bought new couches, which is so ding dang cool. brown microfiber (for kids and dogs) and they recline...and i love them so much. i am so blessed that alex worked so hard to buy them for us. its like our first big adult furniture...finally. i mean camille is 11, it only takes about a decade to step up into that 'nice things' category. :) all of you with tiny children know what i mean. why bother having nice things, when little ones or puppies will most likely tear it up...plus we could never really afford it.

did i mention this house is pretty darn big?

its big for us. we have so much space I'm not sure how homey i can make it. we are making the family room kind of an office/homework/house hub. which is funny to do when you don't really have furniture to make it look like that. for now we have the computer set up, and one lonely desk, and 3 random chairs, in various heights. last night alex joked about the chairs. i don't know whats up with them either...sitting together in the middle of the room. the kids suggested we could tell people we are playing musical chairs with them...that sounded good so we left them in their spots. :)

i am NOT complaining about the hugeness of this house. it is awesome. even though it took forever to get here IN it; its been worth it. i really love it. each kid has their own room, that alone is a huge blessing. telling them to go to their rooms, and it is quiet (without the girls fighting) ohmygoodness, i cant tell you how long we've waited for that to happen. glorious i tell you.

i am setting up my creative space downstairs in the finished basement. im not altogether happy about it all being down there, i like to be upstairs by all the house action. but we are setting it up as the kids area...so we'll have games, tv, SPACE TO PLAY, and my stuff. i am planning on using the lonely little desk upstairs to work on projects when everyone is upstairs until alex gets me a desk. (mine is now the computer desk--and gave the card table it was on back to the kids :)

things are coming along.

last night alex and logan played halo 3 live with some little nerdy kids online and got their butts kicked. i laughed so hard when they told me about it. evidently alex isn't a match for these little toddlers who can dedicate their days to playing hal03. i think they got creamed 58 to 2. logan said everyone quit their team when they saw how bad alex and logan were...im telling you i just had to bellylaugh, cause of the bragging that goes on around here by A-DOG and how good he is at everything....an 8 year old indian boy put him in his place quick. :) i love that.

well its 930am here and i have a buttload (ridiculous word there, but seemed appropriate) of stuff to finish up. and i haven't even showered yet. this is the first day since we left WA that anyone could sleep in...and of course buster baxter woke me up with a potty plea first thing. but i've had my coffee and gone through my blogs and emails. so its time to get going.

as the days progress i hope to be back here. just pop in from time to time, i will get my butt in gear with this blog soon. :) i have big plans for it.

xoxox

**forgot to add, im expecting a box from Stampin'Up! with some new items in there...and i also ordered the new fall catalogs to be delievered in august. and for my lovely best friends who speak spanish, guess what? SU! is now venturing into the spanish speaking world, with a whole new catalog with spanish language stamps. i am so happy about that--its going to open up a whole new opportunity for me, and i cant wait to send cute little cards to my beauiful amigas...yolanda and diana. maybe this will help kickstart my goal or learning to speak spanish again....i cant let those 8 years of spanish classes go to waste now can i?

Maryland

**Just a quick post to update that we have arrived safe in MD. some trouble with our house being ready--so we are homeless for a bit--staying in hotels. not exactly fun with 3 children and a dog--for more than 8 days. we will survive.
i will be back online in a few weeks-- and can update this blog with all kinds of travel photos and even a few cards I've made on the road. :)

thanks for peeking in on me.
xoxo

july 1st and for goodnesssakes....

IF anyone is still looking for me here...I am happy to report I am still trying to remember I have a blog. days pass...but I am thinking I need to hop on here; just can't get around to it before another day has ended. I'll just be honest and say I may not be back on here until later in the month. we are in full-speed-ahead-mode with this whole move across the country thing. going at it all each day, with doggie and 3 children hanging on in the wind....tough stuff. it's all for the good of the family I know. we are getting things done, just seems slow and too fast at the same time.
we had a welcome home ceremony today for the 4/2 Brigade. it was beautiful and sad all at once. so happy to have my soldier home, so very sad for the lives sacrificed of the soldiers they lost. but proud of them all...
its something big to see over 4000 soldiers marching around or standing out there on the field with the national anthem playing...it pulls at my heart knowing what they have gone through...how strong they have to be....it makes you feel special to be a tiny part of the military--even as a spouse. :)

lots going on around here. I have the house in pretty good shape, still working on the garage...doing that until the last possible minute.

**Stampin' UP! released a sneak peek of some new products for the fall 08 catalog that will be released in August--sorry they are only released to us Demonstrators--but good grief--they are cool. I cannot wait to get my hands on them. I'll have to wait until I get to Maryland to preorder some stuff for myself...but believe me--I will get some soon. very cool.
if anyone is interested in getting a new catalog when it comes out this August, let me know I will reserve you one--I will be ordering a box of them to have sometime in August. the catalog release is my favorite time of the SU! year. so totally fun, I usually stalk the front porch for the UPS truck, and then when my new catalog finally arrives, I sit and stare at every tiny detail for about 7 days straight....seriously--I can hardly do anything else but look at it for days...making wish lists and then new wish lists, it's like window shopping right on my couch--PERFECT.

okay- I better hop off here, I have about an hour before we have to skadaddle again as someone new wants to check out our home. (did you remember to send good pleasesellourhouse thoughts my way???) thanks.

xoxo

so much to do

Hello my friends...if you're still reading; I'm still here, sorta.

I know, I've promised photos and more updated posts...but that was before I realized how much work it is to clean up our home to move, and have it in tip top shape at a moments notice to show to a realtor/buyer. I am running on no sleep, no energy and now I have this stupid head cold thingy that is making my throat ache and my ear throb. I thought Alex coming home would give me absolute stress free days--in one sense it did, but now there is just so much more. I am thankful, I can't deny that. As I get rid of so much excess in our home, I can see I am clearly blessed--I have never owned so much crap in all my life. We are well provided for in that sense. :) I will just be glad when all this is over and we are on our way to Maryland. Which is actually very soon. We don't know whats up with the housing market, but we've listed our house for a quick buy, so we are hoping someone will come in and just love the neighborhood, and this little house with a big yard, and want it so much they will buy it soon. Maybe my friends can say a nice little prayer for us, or send some good thoughts our way. I just know that God doesn't want us stuck with a house on one side of the country while living in another. :) We do have the option of renting it out, so there is that as well, we just kinda want to sell it and move on. :)

Anyways.
Well I got to get up in the shower and then do some cleaning for some photos of the house for our listing. (we were not ready for inside photos a few days ago).
like I said, so much work.
When I have time, I will try to upload the photos of Alex coming home, and some of the things we've done the past few weeks. I have not had much time for anything else. Although I wish...maybe the next few days things will settle down a bit. the kids are ready to do lots of fun summer stuff, but we cant mess up the house, and we are a one truck family for awhile - so we are stuck at home in a house we cant mess up--Alex's (piece of crap- but somehow runs like a champ through it all) truck didn't pass the smog check and is forbidden on post now... hence the one truck family....see what I mean about things just being hard--all good, but just hard.

I am longing to do something creative--anything. I got a few new Stampin' Up! things for myself for my birthdayand I really want to play around with them. My stamping desk is sitting there all cleaned and waiting for me......I even got a new crop-a-dile and am dying to punch holes in something....I keep looking at it as I whizz by....bummer....soon. very soon.
well catch ya later.

xoxo

happy birthday to me...

yup; today I am 34!!!

I'm feeling it...feeling a little closer to 39ish I think. body aches, tired early, stress. yeah, I'm feeling it. No big plans today to celebrate. Alex took us to dinner at an Italian place last night for dinner--and then later we figured that could be my birthday dinner. :) we are in full swing on the house selling/moving to Maryland thing. So that is taking top priority around here. not sure if I can be as ready as I'd like, as soon as the agent wants me to be to start showing the house, but I'm gonna give it my best shot--aches and pains and all. I have been anxious to get rid of lots of the stuff that we have accumulated and never really use, or stuff that is just old and worn out...I have a hard time letting go of things, I don't make decisons well, and I'm nervous we might need that tiny paper with the random numbers on it again :) but I need to let go of that feeling and now its all about purging, and the closer deadlines are coming, the more I am able to just start chucking things out. That's good. I'm finding my previous 3 years of half finished projects, clothes the kids have obviously outgrown and paper piles are really putting a damper on my ability to get things looking simple and even move on to the actual cleaning of things. I'm nervous about throwing out some 'treasure' that I don't get rid of anything; and now its just impossible to see what we have and what we need in the midst. Alex is popping in during the day here and there, and trying to help me--he's been working on the outside, but not that it is all cleaned and looking pretty, he is going to help on the inside. lets hope we get a lot done real quick.

I am trucking on though. Today is my last full day of 'freedom' without the kids. I'll be cleaning all day--so I have to make it a getalotdone in just a few hours time. tomorrow they end the school year at 11:32 and have their dentist checkup and cleanings at 2pm--and then Friday we officially start summer around here. I think we are all ready for summertime. And if we move to Maryland early enough, we'll get to enjoy some real heat and sunshine and not have to sit in Washington and complain about the rain--we are excited about that--totally excited to move. nervous of a new place, but so far we have enjoyed our gypsy days of moving from place toplace every few years. of course until we get there, and the humidity is hard to take. --there is always something that needs to be complained about--but I think we can ride off the excitement of the new place just fine. I still almost can't believe we are moving across the whole country and finally living on the east coast. my only regret is not having my granny in DC; where she was my whole livelong life until she passed away in 04--I always figured she'd be in her big house on the hill in Capitol Heights forever...and I always dreamed that one day I'd be close enough to visit her and hear stories of when we lived with her back when I was little--makes me so sad--but she lived to be 96--she lived long and loved lots--I'll just think of that when I feel myself missing here while I'm back there.

so--happy birthday to me. I'm having coffee and planning exactly what I need to do today before the kiddos get up.

xoxo

Praise God for...His goodness...

HE IS HOME!!!!

and by that I mean my husband...
Alex arrived home--tired, a bit sick, jet-lagged, stronger and bigger (is that even possible :) ) than when he left--but HOME!
And the hell that has been my life the past 15months has sweetly ended a month or two early.
I almost can't believe he is here. No more worrying for today if he will come home alive. No more panic attacks in the middle of the night...no more lonely sad suck it up and be brave days for a long time. Well, at least for awhile. And that's what I need right now. to treasure these next moments together...as my family is intended to be.

Alex just brings so much happiness to our hearts; to our home. he takes control of things easily, brings order and joy and fun to the kids, and simply adores me...and I've missed that so terribly much.

Adjustments are surely to come, but I don't care. I can handle anything with him at my side. Nothing else matters when you welcome your soldier home. nothing else ...compares to the love, and joy, and thankfulness you feel when you see his smiling face again. when you see your sweet babies overwhelmed with happiness to be in his arms...to trail at his feet, and not have him leave their sides...just to be in his presence again...to wake up and find him in our home, to hear his voice, to know that he is safe....there are so many words that I can think of; but none that really truly explain how it all feels. the insane emotions...

my heart feels whole again.
Thank you Lord for making this all possible.

xoxox

(pictures to follow)

still waiting...reading and not cleaning

not.very.patient.

this is hard sitting here waiting. so much i could be doing. but i cannot do a dang thing.my mind is too excited and tired and ready...so im sitting here just screwing off. no, the carpets will not be clean, who was i kidding? i don't have that kind of energy today of all days. i guess i can do small things, that will fill the time. clean up breakfast dishes, clean off the computer table. put a table cloth on the dining table. sweep off the cobwebs on the porch. clean out the truck. waiting just sucks. i'm not so good at it.

the thing is --its also raining---the dark gloomy non stop rain, so that just put a huge nasty cloud on my day. i don't want the rain affecting my mood. i certainly don't want it ruining my hair. we've spoke of the hair issues i don't even want to go there today. see...
waiting puts me in a weird mood.

*new subject:
i've been reading THE HOST ...i bought it cause i loved the other stephanie m. books, and this one was huge and it looked like just the thing to get me through these last days of waiting...its been hard at first to get into it, like i did the Twilight series. not that i was into vampires by any means, but like the masses, i loved those books. and after reading them decided that good, handsome, beautiful vampires-- the kind that only eat on wild animals, and fall in love with regular girls and boys are okay with me. we could be friends even.
but this Host book. i dunno. so far its about this soul named wanderer that gets implanted into this girl melanie and the soul is suppose to take over the girls body, but instead the girls mind and soul is still there--and talks to the soul and drives the soul crazy with all her thoughts and memories of her life. honestly, if someone would have said this story to me i would have laughed and said, uh yeah right, sounds great --i won't be reading that one. but i couldn't sleep last night and so i stayed up reading some more, and of course it got to me finally. there is a love story in there somewhere and THAT is what does it for me. i am a total sucker for a love story...even if it involves implanted souls in the brains of human hosts. i'm serious, cause its silly that i'm even reading this, i don't go for sciencefictiony stuff... but here i am ...excited to see what happens next...about to go sit with my coffee and keep reading, ignoring the cleaning i thought i wanted to get done.

i really love to read. it has been one of the great joys of my life. i got my degree in english, just so i could read all the time...i'm not the kind of girl who reads nonfiction books--not by choice...well only sometimes if its really needed, like to inspire me or help me with all of my issues. i need me a good story, the kind that you can get lost in, where amazing and heartbreaking things happen to everyone, the kind where you imagine yourself as the characters...or meet people that would never enter your daily life. ive fallen in love with cowboys, traveled to far off places...been apart of a witches community...you name it...so many good stories to fill my mind and take me away. not that i need to be 'taken away' but the days of being a stay at home mommy just run into each other. and how else am i to go on all these adventures in the middle of cooking dinner and helping with homework??? the one funny thing about my bad memory and all my reading, is once i'm finished with my book, i can hardly remember the name of it...its almost like i use them for their stories and move on without a back glance...which i'm not proud of, but it happens almost every time....

so.
off to wait some more. and not clean up; but think about doing it later...
and see whats happening with the soul wanderer and her host melanie... and maybe clean up after ive read some more.

:)
xoxo