march so far

wow. so much already and its day six of march. lets see...we went and visited a submarine from WWII. that was cool. alex took us go cart racing. which was fun, even though it was so amazingly freezing. i did 2 laps and quit. my hands were red and cold and the wind hitting my face was too much for this old lady to handle. the kids went round and round. the next day it was a snow day and school was cancelled. yippee....even alex and henry went out to play in it. it snowed for two days. it was super cold and white and fluffy and i stayed inside warm and cozy. camille got sick and stayed home resting. i thought everyone was back to business and work today. however camille woke up sick again..so she stayed home and then the nurse called with izzy sick. so both girls home resting and i just got logan off the bus. we are staying away from the girls as much as possible. i am so ready for spring, how about you? today we still have snow in the yard but its melting and the sun was peeking out. it went from like negative with snow to like 60 today with a bit of chill and cloudy with a bit of sun. weird weather for sure. well just wanted to remember to update here before too much time goes by. ive been listening to music on pandora.com. have you used it, its a radio station online that plays an artist or song you like and then makes up a station for you based off similar music. its cool. i typed in 10,000 maniacs and i think every girlie song of my college days has played since and i just feel so dang happy listening to it. its bring back some of my youth. and i miss myself. (that is a post for a future day..missing the girl i use to be--wondering what the heck happened to her? how did she get so lost in the journey of motherhood???)

so...Happy friday peeps and enjoy your weekend. the girls have Lacrosse practice tomorrow if theyre not too out of it from being sick. :) xoxo

20 things about me

i've read on a few blogs these lists of things people post about themselves. so i grabbed a number and lets see if i can come up with 20 things about myself.

1.i love to write in my journal. at least 5 times a week.

2. i always throw away my journals every couple years. i do this because a lot of times they are full of sh** and even though they are full of blessings and good things, i only write for myself. to get things out of my head.

3. i love cheese. on just about every meal.

4.i think i have to eat chocolate every day.

5. i have normal sugar levels even though i crave chocolate. i do not have normal weight levels (as you can tell in the above photo)

6. i love to watch days of our lives. sometimes i will go months without watching it, cause there is so much drama involved and i need some peace. but i usually come back to it. i have been watching it for like 23 years. :0 i know thats pure dedication.

7. i am recording "days" lately so i can skip the commercials. i love it so much. it is an addiction i dont mind having.

8. i think about creating everyday. but i don't actually create every day.

9. speaking of tv. i love to watch ugly betty. i know. but i laugh out loud at this show. sometimes you need those things that make you belly laugh, even if they are silly tv shows.

10. i love the color yellow. it brings me so much joy. clothes, paper, fabric, walls, i probably have many yellow things if i think about it. yes. yellow purse, wallet, earrings (many). all yellow shades of paper. dishes, coffee cups, sweaters, shirts, a yellow embroidery hoop, couch pillows...you get the idea right??

11. thinking of 20 things is harder than it seems. im not a very organized thinker. no i am not. i am all over the place really.

12. i try to read every night at bedtime. i wish i could say i was reading scripture, but no. i read fiction. i have a stack of books at my bedside table and i have to read them.

13. i do not like to do anything that involves risks. or water. yeah, i get full of anxiety over both. anything slightly adventurous scares me and i have grown into this crazy thing about big bodies of water. i dont like them. i cant handle them. i have not been swimming since i was pregnant with camille. that would be 12 years ago...well longer cause shes 12... good grief. sometimes fears just build and grow and you just have to deal with them the ways you can. or not deal with them in the ways you can. oh- i also have a huge fear of the dentist. like horrible. i mean its bad. i get stomach cramps for days knowing i have to go to the dentist. its just devastating to me. ive had thousands of dollars of work done on my teeth, and i have horrible crappy teeth, and it breaks my little heart. i wish i had nice straight, strong happy healthy teeth, but i dont. and its sad.

14. i have to wear socks and covers to bed each night. it doesnt matter if its hot, i need them both, or i have bad dreams--well nightmares without them. in the last 20 years that i can remember i have worn socks to bed. it is a must or i freak out.

15. i have bad dreams almost every night. (even with the socks and covers) ive had them since i was a little girl. sometimes they wear me out by the time i wake up. i feel tired and overwhelmed. not a good way to wake up each day. and it bothers alex cause i toss and turn if they are real bad. (like last night) sometimes they twist and turn into many bad dreams all night. some stem from childhood fears or things that happened to my family as a child. and others are obviously from fears i have today. usually my bad memory helps me to forget them during the day. but they always return each night. :(

16. i always think of really fun projects to do with the kids, but it seems like we never have time to do them. or i forget. or when we do them, i plan them better in my head. or the kids fight and argue while we do them and i forget why i wanted to do them in the first place. like the idea seemed better than all the work. but they dont always go crazy. sometimes they turn out just lovely and im happy we did it. well most of the time i guess.

17. i really am missing my little kids. they are all about as big as me now. they are still often sweet and hug me occasionally, but its not very often. and i miss their sweet little tiny-ness...sometimes i look at them and see their little toddler selves, and it makes my heart burn with love. it makes me miss them and want more babies. i had them all so fast and at such a busy time in my life. going to college...etc...i never had the chance to really devote my all to them the way i wish i could have. i guess thats life. i always read things that say they grow up in the blink of an eye. im learning that is true. and if you have a horrible memory like me--well then you really feel that way. (of course i treasure being with them now too. they are smart and funny and are full of such life and curiosity and wonder still...love them!!)

18.henry our staffy puppy makes me crazy each day. sometimes i actually cry having to take care of him all day. he is too much work for me, but alex doesnt really care. he loves him, and he thinks that since i love him (alex) and i am home all day then it should be easy for me to care for him. but its not. he is a lot of work, and sometimes i secretly hate him. i am beginning to like him, probably even love him. but i hate taking care of him all day. hes just too much work and screws with everything in the house. he does make me love buster even more. cause buster sleeps all day and is calm and loving. henry is a spit fire who hardly naps and comes at you full force. and chews everything and bites on buster and makes us both mad. in his defense, he is kinda sweet. well maybe not sweet. but he has his ways. he suckers me into smiling at him and shaking his paw--cause its so sweet that he can do it. and sometimes when he looks at you, its like you can see his personality in his little face. he is smart and does kinda smart cute doggie things that buster cant do. like roll over. and shake and sit and look at you like hes figuring things out---and then he'll run away and jump up and sit at the table, or try to sneak something in a funny way to his bed. yes i love and dislike him at the same time. we call him "little man". cause hes totally buff and he could totally kick all our butts...he even mad dogs us...that means he glares at us in a way that shows us he will kick our butts..its so funny.

19. i am more than forgetful. i cannot remember anything. it is very annoying and very crippling to me. i am discovering it may be more than memory lately. it may be some kind of disorder. its all combined with not thinking straight, being unorganized, not able to make a plan and stick to it...scatterbrained with good intentions. if you have a name for this, please let me know. its going to involve a Dr. visit very soon i think. the older i am getting, the harder it is to be me. and so its time to figure out what this really is

20. my goal for march is to lose 5 pounds. today is day 5 of march. im not off to a very good start. i have cut back on food. but mostly food isnt my problem, its exercising. i dont know why but it is SO hard to get into a routine of getting off my butt. but its only the afternoon today. and i have some weeks left. there is still time. i am tired of feeling chubby, none of my clothes fit me, and it makes me sad that i only have 10 pounds to lose and i cannot committ myself to do it. wish me luck.

okay. sheesh. that was kinda hard to think of 20 things to write about. but i did it. give it a try.

xoxox

just busy.

yes, we are busy around here. i don't know where the days seem to be going. but go they do. i guess its just daily stuff. before i know it we are at the end of another day, or already another week. homework, friends, school activities, sports practices. even our weekends seem full of the same. not a lot of real family time. alex is busy at work. gone a lot these days. he sweeps in and out here and there. i'll try not to complain though, cause at least he comes home and we love that. :)

logan and alex left for a wrestling championship already. weigh-ins were at 8am. i hope logan walks away with a win today. it'd be nice to end the season with a nice fat win!! camille has her basket ball playoffs at about noon today. they were number one and then they lost 2 games. the last one, they lost by one point at the buzzer. what a game.

next up, we are waiting to find out teams for lacrosse. like i said, our days are busy.

isabelle is working on her science project for school.

and trying to keep her grades up and not get involved in all the drama of 5th grade girls.

i am doing my thing. i got a little frustrated about the whole looking for a job thing, and so kinda gave up for now. it was just causing me so much stress and i needed to keep doing my mom/wife stuff too. so thats what ive been doing. house stuff. groceries, meals, errands. house projects.

i am not even close to opening my etsy shop yet. i thought i would be. but, no not yet. the little basket here is where i throw in products i want to create with. and as you can see, it is full. i did go downstairs and create a bit yesterday. i made 2 really flamboyant cards. and 2 scrapbook pages. one of logan and his stuffed puppy. the other of me at my college graduation. it felt nice to do anything scrapbook related. its been a while. if i could ever just organize my time better, i know i could do a lot more with my days. i just can never seem to get it together. maybe one day...

well i gotta get off this dang computer --many things to do before camille's game.

whats everyone else busy with???

xoxo

Happy Valentine's Day

what a lovely happy sweet lil ol day.

so far, camille had basket ball practice, we went to the library, cleaned up (some) around the house, played with henry, finished up valentines to give to kids and alex later tonight...and the girls and i are hanging out now, while the boys are off at a wrestling match.

i hope logan gets a win. he hasn't been doing so hot. he has a good attitude about his loses. and he usually goes to practice and matches willingly. not today however. he was not feeling so good today and so he pulled a nasty tantrum about going earlier. it was ugly, alex carried him out to the truck, kicking and screaming. i had to laugh when logan started punching alex...i mean, the kid throws some narley fits, but never has he hit someone. its just not in him. so i was surprised and it cracked me up. wrong of me probably, but youd have to know how sweet logan is to appreciate it. and how alex and i have been having conversations about how hes just not that tough guy we sometimes wish he'd be. like when it comes time to win wrestling matches. he dosnt like grabbing boys or throwing them down, tackling whatever those moves are called. he tries, but you can tell..its not him. which is too bad, cause my lil boy is just a pound or 2 shy of 90 pounds and thats pretty big for a 3rd grader. he thinks hes skinny and little in his mind....but no, hes a big husky sweet boy. and i sure love him. and thank goodness i have a 6'4" 250 pound honeyman husband who can pick up a 90 pound eight year old like it snothing and toss him into the truck...cause ive had my days of dealing with the tantrums and im afraid that im pretty much matched by the kids now. they are all just about as big as me..or nearly as strong...so happy a big strong daddy was here to take care of things. i love both those guys. my guys--who just happen to look alike bigtime ...and share the same ability to throw a narley fit. :)

oh- yes i love my girlies too. they are upstairs playing a game together..right this minute. and guess what? no fighting yet. but i shouldnt talk about that, or else i'll spoil it and a cat attack wil follow. my girls are not like logan--they have been known to throw a punch or two. and as much as id like to say it came from elsewhere...i have a tiny suspiscion it came from their mama. a girls gotta hold her own--thats all im sayin.

anyways my sweet girls are growing and changing every day right before my eyes. its amazing that God gave me such children to love. i really am thankful for them. they push every nerve and twist every ounce of patience out of me...but i guess i wouldnt want it any other way, ya know? i like days that remind me to feel the fullness of my life, the blessings i have in my day, the love in my heart because of them. isn't that the point of such days.

so--speaking of love and valentines day--alex hates this day. he says he hates the commercialism of it all. and he hates to see the all the hoopla about it...what a dumb day--so he says. I think he just uses that attitude as an excuse for when he forgets each year to get my a valentine. if only hed ever realize id love a lil note from him, or a bunch of yellow daisies-which are my favorite--not expensive roses. its ok though we all have our ways of showing our love, and after 15 years of knowing this man, i most certainly know and adore his. but id still welcome those daisies...

i rather like valentines day. having a husband who doesnt care, doesnt really allow me to enjoy it on the receiving end, but i always like to bake sweet treats and give the heart shaped boxes and something tiny for my loved ones. my dad use to always give us candy boxes on valentines, and growing up without a whole lot--well i really loved those days. i felt special and loved getting my heart box of chocolates. just loved it. and so i like to do it for my family too. i like to take candies and package them up lovingly for them to tear into and make them crazy as they romp around the house happily. yeah--i just love it. it works for me. the kids usually run up and cut me out a heart card real quick cause theyve really forgotten again and thats fine. i get a cute lil love message and it makes my heart full and happy to give this day each year. thats what counts.

happy heart day everyone.

xoxo

superbowl sunday and stuff

so, who else is watching the Superbowl??

we are all being kinda homeyish (not a word i know) today and it is ending nicely. watching the game, eating chips and popcorn shrimp, rice and sausage and cooked carrots for dinner.

camille's basketball team lost their first game today. bummer. but its ok, it'll encourage them to push themselves in next sundays game.

last week we had a snow storm and the kids were off of school anyway, so they got some snow play in. no pictures though i was kinda too lazy. they only went to school monday and friday last week, so it was a busy at home -and stuck at home-kind of time for us.

this is hopefully the last week with izzys cast. she has a big dance recital on thursday night. we thought she got her cast off the day before, but no--its the day after. so...dang it, we'll have to see if we say just do the show with one arm. shes worked so hard. they will be having a spring class so she could do the class again with both arms, and do the next recital. hmm....

i am still looking for a job. no luck so far. i hope soon. at first it was just to keep me busy, but as expensive as maryland is...now its turning into a priority that i get some kind of income. i am sad to say that my hobby of cards is not making me any money. nothing that would help. and because of this, there is a very strong possibility that i will be quiting stampin up for good. it is just not the most cost effective way for me to keep going. i use to get enough orders here and there, and well now not so much.

my thoughts on this have gone both ways. i have been sad knowing things will change for me. but at the same time, i am gearing myself up to open up my own etsy shop. i have wanted to for a long time. it is a online store so to speak where you can sell your own handmade art. ive had my own shop already made for a long time, just haven't jumped into putting any stuff into it. it is my goal to make that happen. and very soon.

i think focusing on that will be a good thing for me. i can use all the loads of products i have from various companies and not feel limited to only using stampin up!. it will all work out. i have faith.

i also have good health news. i was really having some issues that were making me wonky. well after a few weeks worth of doctor visits and results coming in. i am perfectly fine. only thing that changed is i need a new eyeglass prescription. i'd say that is pretty darn good news.

so all the hair falling out, yellow eyes, 15 pounds of extra weight, depression, anxiety, hormonal issues---well, it turns out all of that is just plain ol ME. along with some environmental issues that i just didn't know how to deal with.

the new plan is to breathe, and feel better each day. to try to focus on doing things around the house, eat better, let go of some things that cause me anxiety, pray more....pray a lot more....

i must focus on getting into a routine, check things off my list, create things for my esty shop, find and apply for more part time jobs until someone calls me back--anyone out there need a girl like me from about 830am til 230pm???? give me a call. just kidding. but the job search will continue. it must. alex is relying on me to help with our income now, and as stressful as this has become, i want to as well. i bet lots of my "issues" would go away if i had something good and positive to do with my time each day. a way to help others, grow in my experiences, share my time and talents.

i am praying God can help me with all this as well. He usually does, half the time when i don't even realize it. sometimes I'm slow to His ways. but i eventually get it.

my pictures today are some cards Ive been working on. along with some Valentine stuff that i did a few weeks ago and couldn't find my camera card so i never showed them here.

so, anyway, enjoy my goodies, and send a hug through the net for me, i could use it.

xoxox

Tuesday. January 20, 2009

home with Alex today.

watching the Presidential Inauguration.

i thought it was pretty powerful.

i felt emotional about it. inspired for our country. and with high hopes for our future. my children's future.

as is evidence from Alex's job--we are more than strong supporters of the leader of our country, and are excited with hopes of good things to come. :)

i am pretty open this year. agreeing that it is time for new hope and new change and i welcome that, as i am sure everyone does regardless of political party.

2009 seems to be the year for possibilities for everyone...i hope these promises turn to good true actions.

*don't forget to read below about my own SU! opportunities and goodness in my previous posts. :)

xoxo

STAMPIN' UP!

hello friends.
how's everyone lately?
we are fine around here. today everyone is home for the Martin Luther King holiday. Nice to have a day off to break things up. i try to take special days like this to reflect on history. even for a few minutes. i think today is a big deal since it comes before the inaugration of Barak Obama tomorrow. what a big day for american history.

so.
i am spending my day doing laundry. cleaning bits of this and that around the house. trying to catch up on computer things. like emails and SU! business stuff, and updating my blog for a minute.
if i can find my memory card for my camera i can upload some photos of some valentine cards and candies that i made they turned out pretty cute--lots of pink and red and hearts and little birdies and chocolate. i'll find that later and try to add the picures tonight or tomorrow when everyone is back to business.

i wanted to note on here that today marks the debut of the Stampin' Up! Spring Summer 2009 catalog. i have my copy here next to me ...and it is really good. so much to take in and drool over.
lots of new stamp sets of course. cute new accessories, like crocheted flowers, nice new ribbons, and designer series papers. i was really looking forward to seeing the new dies for the big shot machine i got last summer. my wish list includes a nice butterfly die, a cute leaf, and a billboard alphabet set. i cant wait to get them and start playing around in my little creative area.
if any of you are interested. please clink on the title link above, or my su! site on the left, i have a section for online ordering as well...you know if anyone just has to order something asap (like i did).
browsing the catalog is a wonderful way to be inspired as well. so many cool paper ideas in there. and color combinations...i could go on and on. check it out!!

xoxo